Hunter and others were beaten by the Hell’s Angels. Hunter was pulled from a speaker and beaten and as he ran away from the gang and was trapped, he held his gun in the air hoping to stop being pursued. He was beaten more after being stabbed and refused help by others there.
In the last sentence, there is a confusing word “en masse.” This would need to be changed into a word that would be easier to understand.
A graph that shows what women could do and couldn’t do is an easy way to understand the concept and grasp the idea of what’s being said. Could do- educate children and maintain household (cook, clean). Couldn’t do- vote and work.
I Believe that the American Yawp is a very well-done and revised book on american history. Even though is it really well done, the american yawp needs to have first hand accounts more and more documents instead of propaganda art and pictures. the american Yawp needs more documents so the reader can fully understand what was going through their mind at the times and the hardships and circumstances they faced.
When the assassination of Abraham Lincoln was mentioned in this chapter there was little historical background and no mention on the Background of John wilks Booth who had a huge part on the down-spiral of the movement of reconstruction. in this chapter, they talked a lot about what Andrew Johnson was Executing and ratifying but instead they weren’t talking about what the African Americans were being denied as human citizens of the U.S.. It explains that Andrew Johnson refused to grant them (African Americans) any rights beyond legal freedom, but what are those rights he is denying? the rights he is denying is not very clear and could mean many different ones, such as human rights or just the rights to be a citizen. Legal Freedom only consist of not being owned, not all of the other natural rights you are granted to live as a U.S. Citizen.
I love the introductions to each chapter, the one thing that does bother me with this specific introduction is the language. Specifically “Foodstuffs” this word could be specified to a specific foods that are later explained in the chapter.
Although this word was chosen probably to save space and leave the reader on some what of a cliff hanger. It could use some specifics that are not necessarily “deep”. An example of this word to use “crops” and then in the body paragraph go into detail about what crops were used. This method of could be used 2-3 times instead of “foodstuff.”
In closing foodstuff can literally be anything without context clues. The reader needs to know some context not that they were just eating. Me being a reader I know that they got food stuff; it’s also informal maybe try “while a variety of foods contributed Europeans population boom.”
I think that the photographs in this chapter relate to the text but does not explain how it relates to the text. When I look at the picture I want it to summarize some of the text but in this case I do not think that these photographs match up to the text.
While Edison’s contributions were critical to commercializing electric power, his focus was on direct current. Today, thanks to the work of George Westinghouse and Nikola Tesla, we use mostly alternating current.
I think a paragraph discussing the 1893 World’s Columbian Exposition in Chicago should be inserted. This was a turning point for our history. Westinghouse, Tesla, and Edison came together to showcase AC versus DC.
Edison believed direct current was more efficient because it runs in a single direction. However, Tesla (using Michael Faraday’s Laws of Electromagnetism) believed that changing the current’s direction a certain amount of times per second allowed for the current to be easily converted from high and low voltages. This was important because you did not want a power plant close the town and you did not want high voltages at the plant or close to homes due to increased dangers. With alternating current, the voltages can be low at the plant, converted to high for transport and then converted back down to low in the town, all without loss of power. Edison did not agree with Westinghouse and Tesla. Alternating current resulted in reduced power loss over time allowing Westinghouse to secure the winning bids for the Fair and also the Niagara Falls Company that year.
You may not want all of that information in your text since this is history book after all. It was more for your information. I just wanted to stress the importance of Westinghouse and Tesla. Please consider adding some information.
Simply in the interest of accuracy, I’d suggest changing the language quoted from the Declaration of Independence to reflect what actually is written: “All men ARE created equal.” If it’s important to put the section in past tense, I’d suggest, “All men [were] created equal.” It indicates that a word was changed though the context remains the same.
Recent Comments in this Document
February 21, 2019 at 3:56 am
Hunter and others were beaten by the Hell’s Angels. Hunter was pulled from a speaker and beaten and as he ran away from the gang and was trapped, he held his gun in the air hoping to stop being pursued. He was beaten more after being stabbed and refused help by others there.
See in context
November 29, 2018 at 5:32 am
In the last sentence, there is a confusing word “en masse.” This would need to be changed into a word that would be easier to understand.
A graph that shows what women could do and couldn’t do is an easy way to understand the concept and grasp the idea of what’s being said. Could do- educate children and maintain household (cook, clean). Couldn’t do- vote and work.
See in context
November 29, 2018 at 4:00 am
I Believe that the American Yawp is a very well-done and revised book on american history. Even though is it really well done, the american yawp needs to have first hand accounts more and more documents instead of propaganda art and pictures. the american Yawp needs more documents so the reader can fully understand what was going through their mind at the times and the hardships and circumstances they faced.
See in context
November 29, 2018 at 3:55 am
When the assassination of Abraham Lincoln was mentioned in this chapter there was little historical background and no mention on the Background of John wilks Booth who had a huge part on the down-spiral of the movement of reconstruction. in this chapter, they talked a lot about what Andrew Johnson was Executing and ratifying but instead they weren’t talking about what the African Americans were being denied as human citizens of the U.S.. It explains that Andrew Johnson refused to grant them (African Americans) any rights beyond legal freedom, but what are those rights he is denying? the rights he is denying is not very clear and could mean many different ones, such as human rights or just the rights to be a citizen. Legal Freedom only consist of not being owned, not all of the other natural rights you are granted to live as a U.S. Citizen.
See in context
November 28, 2018 at 10:50 pm
I love the introductions to each chapter, the one thing that does bother me with this specific introduction is the language. Specifically “Foodstuffs” this word could be specified to a specific foods that are later explained in the chapter.
Although this word was chosen probably to save space and leave the reader on some what of a cliff hanger. It could use some specifics that are not necessarily “deep”. An example of this word to use “crops” and then in the body paragraph go into detail about what crops were used. This method of could be used 2-3 times instead of “foodstuff.”
In closing foodstuff can literally be anything without context clues. The reader needs to know some context not that they were just eating. Me being a reader I know that they got food stuff; it’s also informal maybe try “while a variety of foods contributed Europeans population boom.”
See in context
November 26, 2018 at 9:09 pm
I think that the photographs in this chapter relate to the text but does not explain how it relates to the text. When I look at the picture I want it to summarize some of the text but in this case I do not think that these photographs match up to the text.
See in context
August 22, 2018 at 3:49 am
The abundance of large forest mammals including deerk, elk, moose, and caribou
Deer is misspelled and says Deerk.
See in context
June 2, 2018 at 6:50 pm
Hello,
While Edison’s contributions were critical to commercializing electric power, his focus was on direct current. Today, thanks to the work of George Westinghouse and Nikola Tesla, we use mostly alternating current.
I think a paragraph discussing the 1893 World’s Columbian Exposition in Chicago should be inserted. This was a turning point for our history. Westinghouse, Tesla, and Edison came together to showcase AC versus DC.
Edison believed direct current was more efficient because it runs in a single direction. However, Tesla (using Michael Faraday’s Laws of Electromagnetism) believed that changing the current’s direction a certain amount of times per second allowed for the current to be easily converted from high and low voltages. This was important because you did not want a power plant close the town and you did not want high voltages at the plant or close to homes due to increased dangers. With alternating current, the voltages can be low at the plant, converted to high for transport and then converted back down to low in the town, all without loss of power. Edison did not agree with Westinghouse and Tesla. Alternating current resulted in reduced power loss over time allowing Westinghouse to secure the winning bids for the Fair and also the Niagara Falls Company that year.
You may not want all of that information in your text since this is history book after all. It was more for your information. I just wanted to stress the importance of Westinghouse and Tesla. Please consider adding some information.
Thank you!
See in context
July 25, 2016 at 9:54 pm
Thanks, Edwin!
See in context
April 28, 2016 at 8:58 pm
Simply in the interest of accuracy, I’d suggest changing the language quoted from the Declaration of Independence to reflect what actually is written: “All men ARE created equal.” If it’s important to put the section in past tense, I’d suggest, “All men [were] created equal.” It indicates that a word was changed though the context remains the same.
See in context