American Yawp / Feedback

The final sentence in this paragraph implies that the Stones knew that Hunter had been murdered and that they played on anyway. There’s no need to make the situation worse than it was. They did not know that Hunter had been murdered. Even flipping the clauses would help some: “As the Stones played, Angels stomped Hunter’s body into the ground.”

caption to picture:

I am not sure it makes sense to refer to

represented different civil rights strategies

black activism?  efforts for racial justice?  The wording implies Malcolm X was part of the CRM.

I would Black Freedom Struggle, yes.

CRM was a specific movement — so no

I love the addition of the “Cornerstone” speech and Mississippi’s letter of secession, but with all of the misunderstandings regarding the cause of the Civil War in modern America, the addition of the rest of the Southern statements on secession would help teachers that use this textbook more accurately portray the primary cause of the Civil War. Adding the other states’ memos regarding slavery and secession would strengthen the message that academic historians have no problem understanding and that high school and college textbooks should be underscoring to ensure that people that read this book have no doubt that the perceived threat to slavery was the cause of each Confederate state’s intent to leave the United States in 1860-’61.

This section is written clearly and well, but adding the other states’ declarations, even as footnotes, would benefit readers (and, thus, the rest of us) immensely from possibly never having to entertain an argument over the cause of slavery when each state made it obvious.

Please include in this that polygamy was not practiced by Joseph Smith or any other member of the Church Of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints for SEXUAL REASONS. Polygamy was only practiced by said members in order to help and provide for sisters in need. ALSO, as asked by current prophet Russell M. Nelson, it is asked that Mormons be referred to as “Members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints” because, we are christians and do not worship Mormon.

See comment above

Part of a nationwide protest to mark the 50th anniversary of women’s suffrage.

Women’s Strike for Equality.

Aug 26th is not a random day

I think to point out that this was likely part of the celebration of the 50th anniversary of women’s suffrage.  Women’s Strike for Equality– Aug. 26 is not a random day,

I realize you can’t include every aspect of Progressivism, but a bit more on public health  would set the stage for the Influenza pandemic:

faith in experts

importance of prevention

importance of women, esp. nurses

using the state to achieve ends, etc.

although it is clearly more than an urban issue.

[white men regardless of status would gain not only land and jobs but also the right to vote,]

“Regardless of status” should have commas around it, as it is an appositive.

Change “America” to “the U.S.” for political and cultural correctedness.

The second sentence of this paragraph is incomplete. “Fashion trends no longer required an honest function—such as a broad-brimmed hat to protect one from the sun, knee-high boots for horse riding, and linen shirts and trousers to fight the heat of an unrelenting sun.” Might I suggest changing it to, “Fashion trends that no longer served their original purpose—such as a broad-brimmed hat to protect one from the sun, knee-high boots for horse riding, and linen shirts and trousers to fight the heat of an unrelenting sun—lost popularity at an astonishing rate.”